So about a week ago or so I hear Dale in the kitchen.  It was pretty late and he’s having one of his usual one man show conversation, very loudly as he has been known to do when he is at home.  Honestly, it is one way we are able to find out when something is really going on with him because he tries to process it out loud.  He also has mock conversation about situations (meeting someone, job interview, dispute with someone, etc.) he potentially sees himself getting into one day.  And let’s not forget when he is “practicing his craft” to the TOP OF HIS LUNGS, that is the best one of all.  He can do a mean impression of James Evans and many of my favorite scenes from Good Times.

Anyway, back to the story.  I go downstairs to make sure everything is OK, not to mention I have to be up early for work.  He did not hear me come down the steps so I scared him a little when I called out his name as I entered the kitchen.  He jumped “Mom, you scared me!”  I said “I see, so you can imagine how frightened I was to wake up to you loudly talking at this hour.”  I notice he has an apple in one hand and an apple core remover in the other.  I say “oh, you were hungry and decided to get a healthy snack, good job, I had no idea you knew how to use that thing, I have almost took a finger off messing around trying to use that thing.”  He just giggled.  

Now a little back story, my mother has been able to incorporate apples into Dale’s diet.  To the point that every now and again he just has a taste for a good apple.  One day she was tidying up behind him in “his man cave” and she noticed there was no core or anything left after he finished his breakfast.  I mean she could clearly see remnants of everything else she gave him for breakfast but no sign of an apple.  One evening, after trying to figure this out for a couple of days, she asked “Dale, I notice I do not see the core of seeds from the apples you are eating with your breakfast or from a snack, what are you doing with them?”  He said “ I am eating it” and he is laughing at us both because I guess we were the silly willies here. 

Now that I think about it, Courtney was there and she had a ball with him about it.  She starts telling him about Johnny Appleseed and how these apples grew in his stomach from eating the seeds.  My mother followed up with her explanation of why it is not best that he eats the whole thing and that she thought he was eating it down to the core and tossing the rest. Now understand this, Dale is very resourceful when he wants to be, especially if he thinks he is right. He is known to struggle with digestion issues from time to time, so overall, just not a good idea for him.

We laughed and joked that evening but the next day I get in from work and Dale ask me “what is the guys name that YOUR FRIEND COURTNEY said grew apples in his stomach?”  She is my friend when she is not on “his side.” I am like huh, I literally just walked in from work so in the moment I have no idea what he is talking about then it dawned on me about the conversation about him eating the whole apple.  By this time, he has rolled out on me with a hasty “never mind.” He goes downstairs and Googles away.  He found the story of Johnny Appleseed. He also researched what his grandmother said, and although he now knew Courtney was pulling his leg, his grandmother’s reasons were more credible.  So he was satisfied with his findings and no longer eats the core. As a matter of fact, that day and forward my mother would wash the apple and use a core remover when she prepared his morning fruit for him.

Which brings me to the story at hand, I tell my mother the next day that I came in the kitchen and Dale was in the kitchen getting an apple for a late night snack.  I commended her for helping him make better snack options.  As I walk out the kitchen I said “oh yeah, when I came down here he had just finished using the core remover”  My mother “THAT BAMA*!”

The next day my mother goes downstairs and says to Dale “it is to my understanding that you know how to use the apple core remover?” He said “yes” she says “you didn’t tell me that” He spins around in the chair and says “WELL SURPRISE!!!” Let’s just say I don’t think she was amused. ?

* The word Bama originated in Alabama and was used to simply describe someone who is from Alabama. It has since become a word commonly used by DC natives. It has several meanings, but as summed up in the Urban Dictionary I think they describe it best as someone who is out of style ie: fashion, speech or behavior. It is as harmful as someone calling someone a joker.